What a blunder. I've never seen a product so instantly hated by users.
Step 1: Install Classic-Shell (but deselect the other 3 features in the installer). You want your start menu, you rarely would want the "metro start", or whatever they call it now.
Step 2: Disable edge-swipe on laptop touch-pads, check out these links: a or b
And there you go, your usable windows laptop is back, just two seconds before you were going to smash it up against the wall...